A day in 24th September 2004

24th Sept 2004, Friday. Ya.. It's already friday.. soon it will approach weekend. Should it be wonderful that is Friday? Yes, I should. However, it was not wonderful at all..

This week should say it was so stress for me.. I don't know why? Why there are so many problems pop out at the same time? Firstly, was a shock for my Chinese Cultural Society.. It was replace with a new committee.. and I as a chairperson do not know till saw the booth put up.. Went to speak to the SAO Manager asking for explanation.. Hoping it solve the problem.. can say it's solve but not really.. I am so sad upon what has happened.. But it can't change anything.. What has happened is a reality now..

Secondly, I miss someone.. Thought someone would reply my email after he settled down in UK.. went to check friendster, saw the last log in date in his friendster was yesterday.. but till now, still haven't have a single reply from him.. Same goes to my the other friends who I also sent email to them..

Thridly,is today.. I don't know why it was such a bad day for me..

Started off my day with a bad dream.. Not really a nightmare.. but was a bad bad bad bad dream.. Dream that my youngest sister is no longer on earth.. I cried in the dream.. As I woke up.. felt tears in my eyes.. Oh.. No! what happen.. ????? This can't be true... I was so so terrified.. So scared.. Luckily, nothing happen to my sister..

Later, went to college with my the other sister. Reached college. Alone.. As my sister need to attend class while I need to attend a workshop later at 2pm.. It was only 11 am+ when I was in college. Ok.. Decided to go for a lonely lunch.. The feeling is bad.. Lonely.. sitting at the mamak, ordered my roti canai and teh ais. Ate and felt so lonely as seeing others coming in with companion. Met my lecturer in the mamak. She was alone too.. Found someone to 'accompany' me..haha.. Chat for a while.. And she left... Lonely again.

So, decided to head to library to study.. As I entered the library, started searching for Student ID.. Oh no.. It's not in my bag, neither in my files, or wallet... Where has it gone? without the ID, I can't access to the library neither the college campus.. I was so so desperate.. Took my bag and went to the reading hall next door as it need no ID to access.. Sat at the reading hall, took out all my things in the bag, start searching.. Don't have.. Don't have! Where? If I can't find it again, it would be the 2nd time I lost my ID.. I don't want it to happen again.. So worried..

Oh.. started to sms my friend if she saw my ID elsewhere.. No reply.. I sat there starring at the books, mind wandering off.. What to do next.. ??? First time really so lost because of loosing an ID.. Last time, it happened and I manage to handle it.. Why? this time seems so lost..So i start to message my friend, Zi Yi.. at that time no one came into my mind except her.. She is not in the same college.. But I don't know why just started to message her.. As I typing my sms.. suddenly I type 'die lar..' I don't know why, tears just started rolling in my eyes.. I just suddenly can't hold on and start crying by putting my head down facing the table.. The dream of my sister no longer on earth appeared in my mind.. I cried softly as I did not want to attract any attention from others.. I was so so worried and started to pray in my little voice.. I told GOD, " I need help. Please comfort me.. And protect my sister.. If she will have anything bad happening to her, please DO NOT LET IT happen to her and let the bad event happen on me.. Please don't let anythign happen to all my family members: my mum, dad,both sisters.. Let the worst thing happen on me.. I can't afford to loose any of them.." And it was just about 30 seconds to a minute.. I stopped crying, wiped off the tears.. I was a bit calm and felt comforted after the prayer.. Thank GOD.. HE did comfort me..And send off the msg to my friend, Zi Yi.. I was so lost.. Zi Yi msg me back and comforted me and told me if necessary go replace one as soon as possible.. After reading the message I was calmed and replied her sms.. Thank to her for always being by my side as I need someone to talk to.. THANK GOD FOR PUTTING HER AS MY FRIEND!

Later, sat in the reading room, started doing some exercises.. Soon, it's approaching 2pm.. I packed and left for college.. Approaching the guard house at the campus, saw no guard.. So just walked in.. Later, I just went to the office to update my old ID (last time I lost one, replace new one and later found the old one, so I kept it).. Luckily, everything is fine..

Attended the workshop.. Found out about my dissertaion procedures.. Surprisingly, I need to submit a topic by 8th October.. Now, gotta start to think about it and do research on it already..

Today, my sky is so so blue.. Cloudy.. As it would rain heavily soon.. Just don't know when as it's still holding the rain..

Sigh.. blue blue blue..

Realy thank GOD...