难道，我的事情真的一点兴趣也没有? 连敷衍我一点都不行吗?
有时在想，我真的比不上他的朋友。在他心中真的有我这位朋友吗?
原以为我做到了。对他不想讲太多。可是最近又犯毛病了。因为他主动和我说话，所以我又犯毛病了。
不行，我要离他远一点!
Friday, August 17, 2012
又犯毛病了
只想和他有多点话题。告诉他我会一个人飞去上海，他却冷冷淡淡的。也不多问一些。 几时飞啊? 等等问题，都没有。
难道，我的事情真的一点兴趣也没有? 连敷衍我一点都不行吗?
不行，我要离他远一点!
难道，我的事情真的一点兴趣也没有? 连敷衍我一点都不行吗?
不行，我要离他远一点!
Monday, August 06, 2012
Sunday, August 05, 2012
颓废够了!
心情有点低落。。。
不知为何，觉得自己非常懒惰了。很多事情都提不起劲。
有很多事情等着我去办。心很烦。
放假了三天，却一事无成。
白白的度过了三天。很多事情，一天推一天。提不起去办。例如: 转换屋主的名字、维修车子、阅读、翻阅资料等。可是，三天却没办成任何一件。
在公司也有很多事情还没办好呢!
觉得自己很颓废、很懒惰。怎么办?
明天，又放假了。会不会又一事无成呢?
而且明天是雪兰俄公共假期，很多政府部门都没上班，更加把事情更耽搁。。。
事事觉得很烦心，所以一拖再拖。真的很讨厌这样的我。
不可以!!
振作起来!! 烈好该做得事情，好好把它们完成!
Yes!!
Yes!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
2012 first blog post
Wow, it's such long time since I hv posted in the blog.
Many things and events took place in the past months of 2011 and 2012. Now is already mid of June for 2012, in fact Mid Year of 2012!!
Being in ups and downs... miserably live through the year, being busy and busy... nevertheless survived through 2011.
Grew old in 2012, March 27, gaining 28th this year. Tears shed terribly on the day, a day which totally hurt and could not have more hurt than that.
Learnt to face reality is such blunt, and still searching for the one that really treasures me one day.
Learnt to enjoy each moment, live for myself a little bit more. Be more courages, mind other ppl lesser.
Sometimes emotion could get extreme imbalance, learning to let go and take it easy each day. Learnt to care less what people would want to comment about me. Do every best, faith in God.
Whenever thgs are getting tougher, telling myself ahead : God have a better one coming.
Whenever being hurt and stabbed by others, telling myself : God will soon reward a Mr. Nice for me and he shall take care of me.
Set no revolution for 2012, and half-past the year. What can I achieved?
Have being super busy with work, thgs in family. Havent know what I really want...
Still in the lost world, living through each days...
What are my dreams? Well said, live to achieve dreams... But if you don't even know what the dreams, what should we live for??
Sighing, wonder & wonder when could see the light, or I hv blinded folded myself?
Is happiness that far away?
Many things and events took place in the past months of 2011 and 2012. Now is already mid of June for 2012, in fact Mid Year of 2012!!
Being in ups and downs... miserably live through the year, being busy and busy... nevertheless survived through 2011.
Grew old in 2012, March 27, gaining 28th this year. Tears shed terribly on the day, a day which totally hurt and could not have more hurt than that.
Learnt to face reality is such blunt, and still searching for the one that really treasures me one day.
Learnt to enjoy each moment, live for myself a little bit more. Be more courages, mind other ppl lesser.
Sometimes emotion could get extreme imbalance, learning to let go and take it easy each day. Learnt to care less what people would want to comment about me. Do every best, faith in God.
Whenever thgs are getting tougher, telling myself ahead : God have a better one coming.
Whenever being hurt and stabbed by others, telling myself : God will soon reward a Mr. Nice for me and he shall take care of me.
Set no revolution for 2012, and half-past the year. What can I achieved?
Have being super busy with work, thgs in family. Havent know what I really want...
Still in the lost world, living through each days...
What are my dreams? Well said, live to achieve dreams... But if you don't even know what the dreams, what should we live for??
Sighing, wonder & wonder when could see the light, or I hv blinded folded myself?
Is happiness that far away?
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
告诉他
原来他真的从未察觉我的心意.
真的有一股冲动想告诉他
"我很想爱他"可是也怕这一说，什么都没有了。
可是，不说成了我心中的背包.
他真的啪拖了。对象也被我猜中了。哈哈哈
! 心痛极了!
告诉了他，就永远藏起来吧
! 好吗?
好让我好好的释放出来吧
! 从此，就此画上句点。。。慧珊，加油
! 告诉他吧!Thursday, July 14, 2011
Fly day.. Gonna miss Him
Gonna fly to HK at 4pm today...
Yesterday at work, I IM him to tell him indirectly i m gonna be away for few days.
He didnt ask where m i going, just say on leave ka...
I wish he could ask more :( I will really miss him...
Wish that can always have him by myside. :)
Yesterday at work, I IM him to tell him indirectly i m gonna be away for few days.
He didnt ask where m i going, just say on leave ka...
I wish he could ask more :( I will really miss him...
Wish that can always have him by myside. :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Hold your hand...
I dreamt, a few times, holding a firm n warmt hand of a guy.. I hardly can see the person's face...
But I know is him... He always appeared in my dreams...
If we weren't meant together, why I always dream of you? especially to hold my hand...
Is it because there was once I fell, I grabbed your hand so tight till today I can't forget the warmt of your hand...
I read a dream analysis report, it say, if you dreamt of holding someone's hand, good luck will come...
Is it true? when my luck of holding your hand will come again... ?
But I know is him... He always appeared in my dreams...
If we weren't meant together, why I always dream of you? especially to hold my hand...
Is it because there was once I fell, I grabbed your hand so tight till today I can't forget the warmt of your hand...
I read a dream analysis report, it say, if you dreamt of holding someone's hand, good luck will come...
Is it true? when my luck of holding your hand will come again... ?
Friday, May 27, 2011
Complicated Mood
Today driving morning driving to work, a brand new hyundai sonata was right in front me, driving relatively slow....
Carplate was WVH 896... i was looking at the plate, wow, cars are being released so fast!! so fast it is WVH.... then i onli realised 896 is his ex car plate.... I can't see who is the driver, bt the driver drove till near turn off to KL central... CIMB?? seems to be... she worked there? and she now stay d'sara (all these I heard)... so, will it really she? did she saw me then? coz i was right behind...
hmm.. after i join PC, he seems so cold.. today they went out... i dont know i miss my time at endt...
Feel he will no longer bother about me.. when think about it, tears just rolling in the eyes...
Late last year n early this year, we get closer, chat abit, talk became easier.... I tot the gap of us will close and distance can get abit nearer....
When things just tot will be better... I need to leave him...
Now the Gap/ distance started to grow.. I so miss him, and no longer we chat... no longer we dinner...
Rolling tears, sobbing heart... my close friend is leaving, tis journey is gonna be more difficult to walk on...
:(
Carplate was WVH 896... i was looking at the plate, wow, cars are being released so fast!! so fast it is WVH.... then i onli realised 896 is his ex car plate.... I can't see who is the driver, bt the driver drove till near turn off to KL central... CIMB?? seems to be... she worked there? and she now stay d'sara (all these I heard)... so, will it really she? did she saw me then? coz i was right behind...
hmm.. after i join PC, he seems so cold.. today they went out... i dont know i miss my time at endt...
Feel he will no longer bother about me.. when think about it, tears just rolling in the eyes...
Late last year n early this year, we get closer, chat abit, talk became easier.... I tot the gap of us will close and distance can get abit nearer....
When things just tot will be better... I need to leave him...
Now the Gap/ distance started to grow.. I so miss him, and no longer we chat... no longer we dinner...
Rolling tears, sobbing heart... my close friend is leaving, tis journey is gonna be more difficult to walk on...
:(
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Where is he? Kept thinking about him, why?
Is it true that he already seeing someone?
I keep thinking, isn't there's no fate between us?
That's why, it's so near/ close, yet seems so far away....
I really just wanna keep very very quiet until he don't see me around...
Just wanna shrink to very very tiny until is unnoticeable....
Is it true that he already seeing someone?
I keep thinking, isn't there's no fate between us?
That's why, it's so near/ close, yet seems so far away....
I really just wanna keep very very quiet until he don't see me around...
Just wanna shrink to very very tiny until is unnoticeable....
Thursday, May 19, 2011
想着你...
你现在想着谁有 没有和我相同的感觉...
He always appear in my mind... I wonder if one day will get crazy thinking of him?
He always appear in my mind... I wonder if one day will get crazy thinking of him?
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
18.05.2011
Today he is MC/ EL?
I also not feeling well, diarhea and feel cold & weak... He did not online or on FB...
Is he very sick? Or what had happened?
Thinking, if one day, he finally found his d other one, how am I going to move on?
Is he already have someone?
Heart feeling very down.. How much I wish he is around...
To see his update somewhere is enough to warmt me...
Dear Lord, why? Tell me how to go on?
I also not feeling well, diarhea and feel cold & weak... He did not online or on FB...
Is he very sick? Or what had happened?
Thinking, if one day, he finally found his d other one, how am I going to move on?
Is he already have someone?
Heart feeling very down.. How much I wish he is around...
To see his update somewhere is enough to warmt me...
Dear Lord, why? Tell me how to go on?
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Diary : 13.05.2011
Had dinner with ex-colleague. She said she heard he got girl friend already..
I don't know I replied..
Heart feel very down... Yeah, he is going back very early...
Today, didnt talk to him at all.. Just seen him only..
Heart feel very down, wanna feel at the side of him. When with him, i can feel safe, secured...
Like I no need to worry...
Just because I like him, I guess....
Where is he? Facebook don't see him too :'(
I don't know I replied..
Heart feel very down... Yeah, he is going back very early...
Today, didnt talk to him at all.. Just seen him only..
Heart feel very down, wanna feel at the side of him. When with him, i can feel safe, secured...
Like I no need to worry...
Just because I like him, I guess....
Where is he? Facebook don't see him too :'(
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Gave Him a call
After the incident, it keep circling in my mind...
So i gave him a call, tot trying my luck, if he does pick up, then i will say. The dial tone keep rang, but no one answer, then the operator put on saying the receipient is not answering at the moment.
So i tot just give up. Awhile later he called back. I told him got somethg wanna talk.. then he say ok la next tues la.. so bad. I stopped him say i wanna complaint abt my bos...
He just laugh and laugh and finally told me to forget abt her... then i said i wanna take back my decision can? he pretended not hearing it, say happy holiday, have a nice rest n good bye.
I reluctantly say bye.
And the conversation Hanged!
So i gave him a call, tot trying my luck, if he does pick up, then i will say. The dial tone keep rang, but no one answer, then the operator put on saying the receipient is not answering at the moment.
So i tot just give up. Awhile later he called back. I told him got somethg wanna talk.. then he say ok la next tues la.. so bad. I stopped him say i wanna complaint abt my bos...
He just laugh and laugh and finally told me to forget abt her... then i said i wanna take back my decision can? he pretended not hearing it, say happy holiday, have a nice rest n good bye.
I reluctantly say bye.
And the conversation Hanged!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Twisted Truth
This new bos of mine is terrible!!
She can twist truth. how to work with this kind of person, is so scary..
Things she wanted to do, she blame it on me, say I was the one wanted to go for roadshow!
Hello, she is the one wanted to go north & south! And she put the pointer to me when was questionned about budget.. And used my words to tell it to the big bos, as if she was the one had rationale with me!
Damn angry & disappointed!
She can twist truth. how to work with this kind of person, is so scary..
Things she wanted to do, she blame it on me, say I was the one wanted to go for roadshow!
Hello, she is the one wanted to go north & south! And she put the pointer to me when was questionned about budget.. And used my words to tell it to the big bos, as if she was the one had rationale with me!
Damn angry & disappointed!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
He says...
Today at Facebook, he updated a status : " Friends are like shoes. Some loose some tight. Some fit just right & they help us as we walk through life. "
hmmm.. am I the one that play an important role? Or will I just be a passer by...?
I wish he is still my bos. But I even wish we are closer friends...
But I can't feel he is ...
:(
hmmm.. am I the one that play an important role? Or will I just be a passer by...?
I wish he is still my bos. But I even wish we are closer friends...
But I can't feel he is ...
:(
Friday, April 22, 2011
He fell sick...
He fell sick d...
I was very busy... hardly see him these days.. felt I've not spoke to him since ages....
I m feeling very down, miss him though..
today met him @ lift during lunch hr.. I m always in a messed up situation.. I was suppose to get out at Ground floor but when lift stops at U1...i just got out without realising... Don't know what is running in my mind...
Saw him very moody, not just expression though.. Thought of speaking to him after back frm meeting. Rush n rush, when reach carpark, saw his car gone, slights of disappointment swipe through my heart...
Apparently, he fell sick already.. went home early... I after work about 8pm, dropped him a sms just asking him to take care n take a good rest.. Didnt expect him to reply though thinking he might be sleeping... but how much the heart wanted he does reply.. he did but was so simple : "ok will do"... my heart also felt down as I don't hv much response frm him...
Seeing him actively @ facebook, then he shd be fine.
Dreamt him few days back.. LOL... the dream, can't remember did I kissed him? or he did? hahaha...
I think I'm crazy thinking of him.. I just wanna be as cold as possible.. As I also facing alot problem in my work.. I do feel so down, I just want to keep quiet... very quiet...
Felt telling the new bos of mine, pls leave me alone & let me quietly do my work... I m feeling very stress....
I am just feeling so down.. I do wish he can speak to me though...
Sob sob...
I was very busy... hardly see him these days.. felt I've not spoke to him since ages....
I m feeling very down, miss him though..
today met him @ lift during lunch hr.. I m always in a messed up situation.. I was suppose to get out at Ground floor but when lift stops at U1...i just got out without realising... Don't know what is running in my mind...
Saw him very moody, not just expression though.. Thought of speaking to him after back frm meeting. Rush n rush, when reach carpark, saw his car gone, slights of disappointment swipe through my heart...
Apparently, he fell sick already.. went home early... I after work about 8pm, dropped him a sms just asking him to take care n take a good rest.. Didnt expect him to reply though thinking he might be sleeping... but how much the heart wanted he does reply.. he did but was so simple : "ok will do"... my heart also felt down as I don't hv much response frm him...
Seeing him actively @ facebook, then he shd be fine.
Dreamt him few days back.. LOL... the dream, can't remember did I kissed him? or he did? hahaha...
I think I'm crazy thinking of him.. I just wanna be as cold as possible.. As I also facing alot problem in my work.. I do feel so down, I just want to keep quiet... very quiet...
Felt telling the new bos of mine, pls leave me alone & let me quietly do my work... I m feeling very stress....
I am just feeling so down.. I do wish he can speak to me though...
Sob sob...
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