Tuesday, July 07, 2009

the frustration u gave - pain!

u chose ppl u wish to talk or tell.i m not into to noe ur everythg. then pls go tell ur angels if they r the one who cares!

go away!!

if i never know u. is i've changed or u have till i can't recognise? promises? flew with the aeroplane!

go away! dont come close me!

*tears*

Saturday, July 04, 2009

don't wish...

hmm..dont wish to think so much..

I noe he is away wit a gang of frens for a trip.. i did ask 1 of them to get so news abt his status... haha.. is he still with his gf?

yest, i saw both them wore the same type of clothes.. design similar.. couple design shirt? then noted he onli online really late.. hmm... dating??

i suddenly dont wish to know the answer if the person manage find out.. i am scared....

dont wish to thk anymore.. but..
when i heard this song - I wanna be with you by Mandy Moore.... I feel so sad.. is it becoz i noe is impossible?

dont dare to thk.. dont wish to thk so much....
help~~

BF vs Friend

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++*

誰可以當男朋友,誰只能當普通朋友。*

普通朋友:半夜會找妳打BBS聊天到很晚。

男朋友:半夜看妳還在BBS上會趕你下線(當然妳可以柪個幾分鐘)。

---------------------------------------------

普通朋友:他會找你出去玩,叫妳放棄報告或翹課。

男朋友:他會催妳快寫作業,或者想要跟你討論功課。

---------------------------------------------

普通朋友:在你生病時,會講好話關心妳。

男朋友:在你生病時,他會關心到你很煩,而且逼你去看醫生。

------------------------------------------

普通朋友:他會盡量說好話來討好妳,妳會覺得他很棒。

男朋友:他所說的話,都是關心妳的!但通常像是在命令妳,妳會覺得他幹麻這麼做。

--------------------------------------------

普通朋友:他什麼事情都會配合著你,只要你高興。

男朋友:他會幫你辨別是非,但你會覺得他管太多。

-----------------------------------

普通朋友:他會說他要給你最大的幸福。

男朋友:他只能給你保證,妳跟他在一起,他是最快樂的。

-----------------------------------------

普通朋友:他會幫你買消夜,送宵夜,載你上下課。

男朋友:他會幫你買宵夜,不過他會提醒你,吃什麼比較健康. 他會載你上下課,不過要他有順路,因為他不能為你而翹課.因為他翹課,他成績便會不好,成績不好不會有好工作。 那你們將來日子怎麼會好過,他會想的很遠。

----------------------------------------

普通朋友:他只有想到現在。

男朋友:他已經預見將來,該怎麼自我努力,好給你幸福。

愛上一个人..........如此的甜蜜卻又讓人受傷害
放棄一个人..........如此的難過卻又讓人心碎


珍惜身旁的每一个人,不要等到失去了

才瞭解到遺憾.和後悔是如此的痛苦....

**********************************************

he fits most of the above? so can be boyfriend??

hmmm..... but but... is it true?

hahaha.. (think too much)

Monday, June 29, 2009

Not sure how

This evening, he's mentioning the days he will be on leave...
naming the days to his deputies, he mentioned 17/07. I know this day is his gf bday..
after heard, i m so sad..........

then he was mumbling this day must take leave! so sad, means they r still together. perhaps rumours was just covering up...

later on, they further mentioned about whose n whose bday.. due to he mumble must take tat day... shud he had told tat day was his girls birthday... a special day..

san, is it time to wake up? shall i leave, so i could stay far far away forever
Lord, tell me how? y i so like him? if i patience and persistent, will he like me too?

why it is so complicated?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

confused

what happen?

he suddenly nudge me.. then asked me watched hannah montana ? then send me song , and say after i listen wil recover very fast...

then his msn msg keep changing:
1. come n get higher (i like this song also, the lyric started with i miss the sound of your voice, i miss..)
- he missed his gf? or first love?
2. hatin on the club (sang by rihana, saying she saw her boy wit a new love, left her, she's heart broken)
- he meaning his first? or now existing? what happen?
3. touch my hand (by david archuleta, saying he saw a gal, and want to touch her hand, be with her)
- is he ok?
4. 1,2,3,4 (by plain white -t: just simple telling i love you, and thank you someone be there for him when he's hurt)
- is her existing gf?
5. crazier (by taylor swift, very crazy for someone)
- i guess he thinking about his first gal.......
6. then change the msg to woah - is lyric frm hatin on the club.. sounded so frust and sad...
- is he really ok?
7. then change again to wOOOAAAHhhhHhh - this seems his very very frust and sad...
- hey!!! hey!! r u ok? i m worried

i thought he went for transformer today... i know tis movie is his and he existing gf movie. they started last yr with transformer i guess.. as many saw both them in cinema... :(

i m confused and can't sleep..
i feel hurt.. coz knowing his heart is with other person. knowingly is not his fault, just myself who didnt wanna come out from the trap i set for myself...

pls be ok.. to him

Monday, June 22, 2009

fading away

whenever i talked about him.. i'll felt like crying..
scenario just as how I talked abot elfy...
does it mean, i sincerely just treated him as a fren only, a fren...

i really just wanna stay invisible.. and dont wish to care for him anymore
it's very very hurt.....

how to mend the hurting heart?
am i just so nothg?

fading away, fading away...

am just so useless, how come I still can't forget and get over about him?
useless....

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Falling Apart

Maybe it's because I'm crazy,
Maybe it's because I just can't,
Honestly tell you what I want.
It's never enough to stay still and hold you,
To break loose and run the taste of you,
Wild on my tongue.

Am I no good to you now?
Am I no good to you now?

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
We're spilling over.
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
We're falling apart.

Spent my days with doctors,
And my nights with crooks,
And all of them who sell me for a song.
So I'm here.
Safe Dear.
A fiction in your arms.

Am I no good to you now?
Am I no good to you now?

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
We're spilling over.
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
We're falling apart.

So get me out
Start me over
For heaven's changedI should have told you

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
I'm falling apart.

Cause all I say,
It doesn't matter anyway.
All I say,
It doesn't matter anyway.


I'm giving up,
So call my bluff.
Cause I just need to be reminded who I am.
I'm falling apart.

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
We're spilling over.
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
We're falling apart.

I'm giving up.
Starting over.
I wanna be,
The one who holds you.

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
We're Falling apart.

So wanna be loved?
So wanna be loved?
So come on now
Come on love.

*missing him*
- jumping myself again in the trap

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Invisible

as expected.. no reply on sms. remembered he said before will not reply unnecessary sms.. yea.. i m unnecessary. i wonder does his charlie angels unnecessary sms, he'll reply? i thk will reply...

i online & appear offline. nvr expect him to online. he online and rub off his msn msg and log off.
then went to fb, he's there too... i updated my status - sick... and faint, sleep till 10 somethg tis morning...
he rather update his comment on someone else's comment...

later on, i just re-post another comment: it's raining, pls careful & take care.. frm the heart is for him as knowingly he'll be travelling back to his hometown, taiping.

I tot i really had made up my mind... to stay away. but as I see him being at a no good plc, my heart melted and started to concern for him.. isn't it I jumping into the trap now by myself?

Sad....

I wanted to catch a movie, but no interest of my sis. By catching a movie, I can spend my time away without thinking the unnecessary thgs.

Am just invisible.. really ................... then i should really continue with that status forever...

Friday, June 19, 2009

.. u ok? i am worry

i m worry for him.. wat happen to him...? he became a stranger, he hurt my feelings... i really wanted to stay away. but lastly i surrender, as i see him sick, i can't let go.. yesterday, i waited till 11 somethg, he still not online, i got disappointed and offline telling myself forget abt him.. juz sent him a sms and went to sleep. today, i saw he actually online very late, 12 midnite plus, i guess.. he wrote on his msn msg: nose bleeding...chest aching...overdo at gym still...your damn fskup hwc !!!! wat happen? what does fskup stand for? how come he sounder torturing himself? is he ok? i felt i shud have waited for him to online... what happen? is he ok? i wish to ask him.. but how? what am i suppose to do? pls take care.. i so felt to send him sms now... should i? i scared i put an expectation, and i'll get disappointed once i did not hear from him... he is so egoistic... there were certain period, both us so close.. and out of sudden, he cut it off, and very cool to me.. it hurts.. as he had stirred my feelings.. and then he cut off himself... :( this was abt april tis yr, he spoke to me... did he nearly tell me he felt for me also? he swallowed his words.. and face got red.. lastly, he mentioned me n another person important to him, he sayang us most... he looked here n there when trying to speak... face got red.. did he just really wanna say tat? at that moment, felt we are possible.. but now, i seems the impossibility is greater and it is IMPOSSIBLE ! anyhow, i am very worry. pls be ok. pls talk to me... dear Lord, why? what should i do?

Monday, February 02, 2009

Can he say abit more?

Sometimes... I wonder did I asked too much, or my question bothered him too much till he does not want to answer?

For instance, I asked is there gonna lunch since the movie started late? No reply-

And just now, I asked if he had the 1st episode of red cliff - replied: tarlak
And I further asked if he knew wat is a ignition coil (car parts)
Later, I caught an idea to googled myself, but soon after, i dropped him a reply, say I googgled the answer myself - then he became offline...
Can't he express by an OK?

So am i too bothering till he choses to offline?

Sigh...

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - I am learning the technique to communicate with him & understd man/ guys..
I just needed some concern...

Nah.. Why should I hope? Not have told myself.. since today not even an sms by him when I took my lrt home... Then, I should not have a little hope from him..
I tot I hv taken a deep breath and decided to throw away the hope?
Hahaha.. Why I still bothered msn him?

Take another deep breath and offline too myself.. & forget it!

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Happy Birthday To HIM....

Today, 3rd Aug, is his Birthday....

Celebrated with karaoke with him, bought him cake...
How come he seems a bit down?

I wish to see him HAPPY..
Although his not mine, and I felt sad over alot of things he does to me, BUT, I still wish he would be happy & fine...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

What can I do?

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting,
No more aching
No more fighting,
No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

What can I really do?
All will do just hide up my feelings.. and hide myself..

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Another day in July.. The horoscope says... is it true?

Friendster Horoscope for July 9, 2008

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)[?]

The Bottom Line
This is a wonderful day to get some stuff started! Stop stalling and start doing!

In Detail
This is a wonderful day to get stuff started! If you've been delaying making travel plans, calling up that cutie, or getting you car fixed, it's time to stop stalling and do what you need to do. You've been thinking and pondering long enough. Now it's time to act. You can be confident that whatever is begun today will end in a huge success. As for your concerns that you're not quite ready: Well, you're never going to be completely prepared. But you can make things up as you go along!

Monday, June 23, 2008

The horoscope say for today...

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)[?]

The Bottom Line
You have been putting the needs of other people ahead of your own for far too long.

In Detail
As selfish as it might sound, you need to put yourself first, today. You have been putting the needs of other people ahead of your own priorities for far too long, and it's high time for you to get yourself back at the top of your list. You have accumulated far more karma points than you could ever use, so why keep racking them up? Take a break today. Do something nice for yourself, because you are your favorite person. You don't have to earn this attention.

But I wish I could do more for him..
Is that love?
Does he feel the same?

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I'm Yours

I'm Yours

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks
and now I’m trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I’ll be giving it my bestest
Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some
I won’t hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I’m yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love

Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A lá peaceful melody

It’s your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what i’ma saying is there ain’t no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons

It’s what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love

No please, don’t complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

(Artist: Jason Mraz)


*San: Can it be? Will it be possible?*

Monday, June 09, 2008

Crushing

*Crushing*

Took a quick quiz juz now.

Results:
You have a crush on someone! Crushing is a bit different than love, but it feels like almost the same thing. You think of that special person constantly, and your heart is full of hope and anticipation. Good luck to you!

Wanna laugh... Where's my luck then??
This really making me cry..tears...

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Waiting All My Life

Everybody needs it, everybody wants it
Everybody's searching for someone
Been down a thousand highways
Baby, I've been

Waiting all my life to find you
Alwayz been one step behind you
Your love babe, I've been waiting all my life

I was tired of waiting, every night was praying
Everyday would be the day I'd find you
I grew so impatient, how long would it take
To know you were out there somewhere?
Somewhere waiting, wondering just like me

I've been waiting all my life to love you
All that time I was dreaming of you
Your love babe, I've been waiting all my life

And did I lose faith, did I lose heart?
Maybe I did, but never lost my way
To where you are, I've been

Waiting all my life to find you
Alwayz been one step behind you
Your love babe, I've been waiting all my life

I've been waiting all my life to love you
All that time I was dreaming of you
Your love babe, I've been waiting
Your love I've been waiting
Your love I've been waiting all my life
All my life, all my life

Artist: Rascal Flatts

Monday, May 12, 2008

I m nobody to him

Really nobody to him...

Don't seems he appreciate my gift...

SIGH.........

我问他, 明天是否有兴趣看电影去。他却敷衍的回答我,明天才决定。。

下班时, 他还大大声说: 他去拍拖了。。。

原来,在他心中, 我未占一点位置。我不如他身边那些只是在他面前嘻哈的女孩。


我又不是他的什么人。何来占任何位置呢?

Nobody, nobody to him.... :(

Sunday, May 11, 2008

想他

想他。

连度假,也在想他。

想他啊~

唉。。。。

很无奈的呀!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

该怎么办?

真的真的很喜欢他。
怎么办?

假装若无其事。
对他不闻不问。
心中很难受。

看着他离开,回家, 会傻的去查看IM。
他的女朋友也一块下班吗?
想着他们会去约会,心中不禁低落,可是却要提醒自己这是事实。
为何要如此折磨自己?

刻意让自己在工作里很忙很忙。
没有多余时间去观察他。
心中是真的很难受的。

我真的不知该怎么办了。。。
只能偷偷流泪。
我真的是傻瓜!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

好想永远握住他的手

昨天晚上, 看完电影, 步行回到公司。
正当走着下楼下的停车场, 我摔倒了。

他伸出援手, 想要把我扶起。
我摔得很疼。只能坐在石阶上。
我紧紧握住他的手。牢牢的握住。咬着唇,忍着那剧痛。

我握住他的手,紧紧的抓住。
但愿, 我真的能永远都握住他的手。
虽然脚很痛, 但我还是忍着。

不知是心中有数, 很快地我还是脱开他的手。
现在想起了,心中的痛比身体受的伤, 还要痛。

他知道吗?我好想他, 好想他身边的她是我。
他感觉到吗?
我真的很无助。
我不能说。只能装酷。

我真的舍不得。。。。