have a chat with someone.. she told me, he sayang someone alot. she can see it, and I believed that.
Once, he said he sayang me alot too... hahahahaha.. now when i ponder back, dont know is it true or just for the sake of saying...
ya, at a point, me n this person agree, hwc is a rare spesies and hard to predict and even harder to know when he is true, when he is not....
lord, how many times had I said and decided to let go & give up? and also how many times i had done otherwise? lord, i m so useless....
this time, i want to give up too? will I soon forgotten abt it and soften my heart...?
why he alwayz have that "magic" to do it on me?
Lord, i read an article frm the newspaper. it mentioned that why a guy seems so slow. basically there are several reasons. either is really he dont like u, but he dont wanna hurt you.
either is he just wanna play around wit you. either or he is not sure, would want to take a longer time. or he may be a gay.. (hahaha.. he is very closed with a guy, will he, is he?)
I felt the reason 1 fits (ahahha.. i m so sad when i read, and first eyed to this reason)...
dear lord.. if if he really dont like me. can he dont suddenly so nice to me? is he now showing all his coldness to me, mean is the answer? then why when i chose to give up, he there to come and stirred up my feelings? I am so so useless.....
i m feeling very down..
and many other issues.. i m getting worser and worser.. bad temper and sometimes i felt i m goin crazy d.. almost...
what can I do, where's the wai san used to be?
i start to hate myself too, i so felt to cry...
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